Going through a rough patch

9:00:00 PM

and I can't believe it myself but I think I'm fine.

It's been more than a week and too much happened so fast that I never had the chance to really absorb anything. As much as I would love to share with everyone the nitty gritty, I can't. Forgive me but I have to think of the other party, too. What I can share is, our almost six-year relationship is now over (thus the endless emo videos I've been sharing on facebook). Yep, I'm single again after how many years and I never thought I'd be so sad about it. Instead of liberation, I feel lost. I don't like the freedom if that's what others would call it. I'm not very good at being single. Hell, I don't remember what it's like to be on my own.

How am I holding up? I'm not sure how I'm doing it, but I'm quite alright. I'm still alive. I've seen better days though. I thought that I wouldn't tell anyone about this thing I'm going through because I don't want pity from anyone. So when I finally had the courage to tell my close friends, I was surprised to know that they don't think I'm pitiful. I wonder why is that.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the break-up. It's sad. It's torture. It's horrible. It was ugly. I lost my cool (yet again). There was a lot of crying, blaming, begging, and all that. I decided to post this because I read somewhere that part of moving on would be accepting what has happened and this is my way of accepting. I'm not sure if I'm doing it right but this is the only way I know how.

I know I'll be alright. I have no idea when but that's my only alternative, to be okay. Thanks to those who listened to my crazy rants. I'm not very good at saying thanks so I hope that this would do. You guys know who you are.

Thanks to my baby boy who hugged me tight and said he won't leave me ever when he saw me crying one afternoon. Baby, mommy will be fine knowing you're there. I love you so much. I promise to not cry anymore.

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