Profiles matter

9:00:00 PM

Is it possible to become a complete loser online where lying or pretending to be someone else is easy as pie?

Absolutely! Here's how (in no particular order):
Start off by saying something really unique like "Hi" or "Hello" when sending messages so that you'll catch their attention right away. Better if you spell it like this "ElOw" or "mUztah?".

Mention in your profile and everywhere you can write on that you're a simple guy, living a simple life, who's interested in simple things, looking for a simple girl. That your role in this world is to make others happy.

Jazz up your profile picture. Do a duck face or a vain shot. Add frames, glitters, clip arts, whatever.

Make sure the captions for said photos are clear and they are not just fishing for compliments: "No make-up here", "Gosh, I'm so fat na", "Wazzzup bitchez?!"

Fill your profile with grammar errors, typos, unnecessary punctuation marks, etc.

After exchanging several messages with her, go for the kill. Describe your horniness, that it's beyond reproach and you badly want to fuck her.

If that doesn't work, try again! Never say die!

Be honest about how much of a jerk you are. She'll completely understand.

Say 'stuffs' or 'informations'.

Post photos of yourself half naked for all the world to see those flabs and hairy armpits cause they scream sexy and appropriate.

Use Photoshop as much as possible on all of your posted photos and make sure you're not recognizable from your real self.
Maybe I'm guilty of a few of these things but I'm really trying hard not to. Or I'm being self-righteous. Well, I guess I am. Your profile represents more than half of who you really are so prove me wrong.

There's this saying that you should be yourself all the time and let people accept you for who you are and what you're not. Well, this is true. But that doesn't give you any right to be reckless and flaunt your lack of taste or stupidity to annoy people like me.

Please don't label me as a total snob when I don't respond to your attention grabbing one liner "Hello" or "Hi". It's possible that you're just too shy to say more and that's okay but don't send five more messages with the same shit. If you're interested enough, a question or two would be great. Tells me that I'm more than just a random citizen in the online community. 

Don't ruin online friendship for me. A little common sense goes a long way. 

Now that's out of the way, let me just clean up my accounts!:)

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