A guide to being a sore loser: How NOT to move on

12:23:00 PM

I'm sure this post is going to be relatable to those who love fiercely.

  1. Keep his or her contact info. Memorize his number, email address, url, etc.
  2. Do not delete him or un-friend him on Facebook or whatever social networking site you are both subscribed to. Then, constantly view his profile. Make sure you don't miss on any of his status updates, photos, or tags. While you're at it, keep sending him messages, cheesy-sappy ones.
  3. Spray his perfume on your pillow and blanket.
  4. Keep one of his old t-shirts, one that he's worn. Don't wash it. Wear it to sleep.
  5. Let him know where you are, whether you're having fun with others or if you're being self-destructive. Hope that he'll care. Wish that he'd follow you. Cry when he doesn't.
  6. Come running to him when he needs you. Let him know that all your time is his and nothing to spare for others. Don't let him wait, even a minute. 
  7. Don't meet other people. Stay alone and mope all day, all night. Never let him see you with other people. Never give him the slightest idea you're doing fine because of other people.
  8. Search for quotes or sayings about love, relationships, pain, break-up, or heartache. Feel like every single one of them's written just for you. 
  9. Fill your playlist with every heart wrenching song you can find. Make sure you play them when you wake up, during the day, while you're asleep, while you're taking a bath, while you're cleaning the room you once shared with him and cry when songs like "One Last Cry" or "Let Me In" starts playing. Cry every single time because each song describes your miserable existence.
  10. Watch romance movies
  11. Read his letters or messages while you were still dating (preferably while you're playing those songs on your playlist). 
  12. Never delete your photos with him. Look at them every time. 
  13. Be extra nice to his family. Let them be nice to you.
  14. Greet him on your anniversary or monthsary date. 
  15. Go to all the places you used to go to with him or her. 
  16. Be the extra pair of hands he needs.
  17. Throw him surprises. Bring him food, for example.
  18. Talk about him on your blog.
  19. Constantly hope that you're good enough for him to come back to. Never stop dreaming that he still wants you despite all the pain you went through because of him. 
  20. Lose confidence that you are worthy of a good life and believe that you deserve being miserable. 
Did I miss anything? There you have it! Enjoy being a sorry loser. I'm having ice cream later. That's as good as letting someone go.

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