I haven’t checked my other email account for a long time and when I finally did, I saw an email from a complete stranger telling me about her struggle as a single mom because her husband decided to leave her and their kid. Or something to that effect. She didn’t really go into the details. At first, I didn’t think it was for me, because why would anybody send me one?! The sender found my blog somehow and said that she can relate to me.

Towards the end, she asked how I was able to go through all of it and how I eventually became okay. I had to go through all my previous posts and check what I have written because I was pretty sure it didn’t look like I had it together during those days.

So for you, my first ever letter sender, the answer is I don’t really know. It took me a while to get my footing, that’s for sure. I don’t think there’s an easy way out. This would sound really sick, but you have to deal with the bullshit and pain head on just so you know exactly why you have to get out. You have to hit rock bottom so you know why you don’t want to be there again.

I’m sure you’ve read this somewhere and people have already told you that you should just value yourself more and believe that you deserve better. That you and your kid don’t need this kind of man. There’s a reason why everybody’s telling you that, because it’s true.

I promise you sister, the moment you start ignoring him and making yourself better, he will suddenly become insignificant in your life. Distract yourself. Put your attention elsewhere. Go out with friends, find a hobby, get a pet, work out, spend more time with your child, bond with your family, go to the salon, travel, enroll in crash courses. Be better at your job or learn a new skill. Your options are limitless!

I’m very sure you feel like you can’t do a thing but cry and sob and feel sorry. That’s fine, but you have to tell yourself repeatedly that you can’t be like this forever because it's so damn unfair to yourself, to the people who truly care about you, and most importantly to your kid.

Be proud of the love you gave this son of a bitch, but let it be just that. Give him all the love you can give but never give away your self-respect and dignity.