Are two-word names better?

10:00:00 PM

Pain is like fabric. The stronger it is, the more it is worth it."
The Fault in our Stars (Antonietta Meo)

A love story so sweet and true but equally devastating, Hazel and Augustus'. I never thought I'd cry so much over this book, The Fault in our Stars. It definitely made cancer patients look so bad ass.
***
Dear You,

I know you did not like my answer, I did not like it myself. But you see, you asked the wrong question. You could have started with "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" And I would have told you no.

It's not my plan to be your girlfriend. Have you not wondered why I never brought up the idea of marriage? That I never nagged you even once why we're not planning to get married after years of being together? Because I didn't need some ceremony, validation, or written contract that you are mine and I am yours. So when I did not aspire to be your wife (not that I don't want to, of course it would have been my pleasure), I definitely would not aim for just being a girlfriend, or whatever label you can think of. It's not because I did not want to be tied down, there was just no need for it. I'm yours and you should have known that.

You see, I want to be more than just a girlfriend or a wife. What I want to be is that girl you love.

That girl you want to spend time with after a really shitty day at work. That girl you want to come home to. That girl who makes you look forward to tomorrow without making you want this day to end. That girl who makes any place feel like home as long as you are with her. That girl who kicks ass with you. That girl who makes you want to be better because you know she'll leave your sorry ass if you start blending in with the crowd. That girl you call first when you have a good news. That girl who makes you feel better if there's bad news. That girl who gives you a good night's sleep. That girl who makes you see things differently.

The list goes on but that's my plan. I want to be that girl. It's ridiculous, probably impossible. I'm out of my wits here, to be honest because I could be the most amazing person in the world and you might disagree or it could be the other way around, right? I could be the shittiest, bitchiest, worst person who ever existed but instead you see a princess. I have no idea how to go about this plan. It would probably cost me all I have; it could mean missing out on a lot of things. Other guys might be waiting for me, who are far better than you.

But hey, what if this crazy plan works? I'd rather live with sadness than regret. If I fail, I'd be sad and devastated but I know I'll be happy again but I can't live with regret.

So yeah, I'd always take in sadness with a dash of everything and anything destructive that the human heart can possibly contain because I'm stronger when things get tougher. Please don't make we want to be just a girlfriend or a wife. Okay?

Always yours,
Me

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