This drama is brought to you by Emperador Lights, San Mig Lights, Tanduay Ice, Fundador, Selecta ice cream, Chips Ahoy, Peanut Butter, free TV, and DVD marathon.

To those who've had their heart broken immensely in whatever way I'm sure y'all can relate somehow.

I hate it when people assume that I give a damn about what they think. Most especially when they feel like I'm asking for their opinion. Well fuck you all for saying that what I'm going through is nothing and that I'll be okay.

I appreciate the advice. Really really appreciate those people who just listened and never once said that "it's going to get better". The worst thing you can ever possibly tell a person who's not okay is "it's going to be okay". If you've been through the same shit, you know that while it's true, it's the most impossible thing at the moment because I'm living my life just trying to survive one day at a time.

I'm trying really hard keeping it together because to fall apart is the one thing I want and the only thing I can do but can't! I'm not even striving for happiness or finding someone to love me. I just want to stop feeling hurt and live like a normal person.

I don't expect people to understand or do anything for me because I have realized that this is something I have to do on my own. Friends and family helped a lot and I could have been in a worse situation if not for them, but it's only the loneliness, the lack of company they fill. This is a battle no one can fight for me. I have to do it alone.

I'm losing weight and I'm not doing it on purpose. I've been sick many times this past few months and I NEVER get sick. I drink every night just so I can sleep. If that doesn't work then I stay up all night. I don't like the shit hole I'm currently in because I know I'm better than this. I'm fucking better than this because I'm bad ass and I'm a good catch. Fuck, I'm a good lay!

So I'm not okay. I'm trying my best not to mess up but please just let me grieve and sort my shit out. I'm awesome, I know that. I'll get over this and move on. I have yet to find the good in this goodbye. For now, unless you're buying me drinks then fuck off.