Dear Ate Charo or Papa Jack?
9:00:00 PM
I can never muster the strength or braveness to write to MMK or call Papa Jack about my current situation but how I would LOVE to! It's going to be hilarious! I mean, my friends and I will talk about it for a long time. It will always be brought up over beer or coffee and we'll all be entertained.
One thing I seriously considered though was writing to Auntie Janey. It's a column in Jessica Zafra's blog where people email in their problems and Auntie Janey would give them advice. I've been a follower for quite a while and I never thought I'd want to write. The thing is, I probably know what to do because I'm freaking good at telling others what to do about situations like this but like what they say, it's hard to follow what you preach (or something to that effect). So why do I want to write to Auntie Janey? Because I want to hear it from someone who doesn't know me or the people involved in my situation. I feel like it will be a good wake-up call.
I was already editing the draft and was about to hit send when I decided to browse through the published letters once more. Then I saw this letter that's somewhat similar to my situation. Well we're similar in one aspect only, that's, what to do now?
Here's the letter and Auntie Janey's response.
Anyway, here are parts of the response that really got to me:
I think you already know that you are just there to relieve his tensions, figuratively and literally. All the convenience without the corresponding obligations. Why should he make it more complicated by anointing you as his official girlfriend when he already gets what he wants without you making such a fuss about it? And as you yourself observed, if he wanted the two of you to be together, he would have already declared on Facebook that the two of you are in a relationship.
I'm not really interested in dating right now because I'm still hopia (hoping) for a miracle but I read this part over and over:
I think you will have a hard time letting him go and dating other men because you have spent so much time on him already. But, if you do want to date other men, the best exercise is to go out there and actually date. When we are constantly exposed to something, our defenses are eventually lowered because we are already comfortable with it. You have only gotten used to just one man and by allowing yourself to meet other men(meet ha not sleep with) you may eventually get used to them and be at ease. See less or no more of him and throw yourself into the dating circle.
And something I need to hammer to my thick skull:
It would be a bad idea to tell a man that you want to take things to the next level. “The Talk” will not do any good in your situation. You have been doing all the duties of a girlfriend or wife yet you do not have the official status. It has been going on for so long that I think you are just a buddy with benefits for him. A self-cleaning tissue, some mean people would remark(me).If you're heart-broken or something, give the column a visit and Auntie Janey will surely fill you in with a lot of sense of self-worth and common sense. Please send in your letters. I'd read them with a hanky on one hand and beer with the other.
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