*This is a very long introduction.


Without the influence (prodding, harassment, etc.) from my parents (mostly just my mom), I would have not gotten myself involved in sports or any physical (tiring) activities. I was very frail when I was young and I lacked the power or strength (for the most part, will) to do anything and yet I played judo all my life. 

My judo career wasn't stellar. I lost more matches than I have won, I'm not good at throwing techniques and I'm particulary bad at grappling, but I look snappy in a judo uniform and I do rollings (summer saults, slams, cart wheel, the works) like a gymnast (I was one before). I can't say we're famous, but because of my parents' awesome track record, all of us (my siblings and I) were known as "Anak ni Tetet" or "Anak ni Tony".


My youngest sister joined the national team and did a few stints abroad (I'm a bad sister to not know what her accomplishments are, yes I know!), plus she was undefeated in the UAAP. My other sister is now a sought-after (because she's almost stinking rich and nobody gets rich for playing judo) coach in Singapore. She didn't have a bright career in the Philippines while she was playing, but her other skills, matched with the perfect boss and opportunity pushed her up in the food chain. My brother just bagged the gold medal in the national games held in Dumaguete some months ago. It's a surprise believe me, because he's never trained! If he's not in front of the computer at home, he's in front of a computer somewhere else, at school, or sleeping. We should get a new family picture in our uniforms just to show everyone how bad ass we are and I'm not boasting at all.

Anyway, I stopped playing after I gave birth; Julian, work, and other stuff (I don't really know what I mean by other stuff), kept me from playing again although I'd pop in the dojo maybe once a year to embarrass myself. I hated judo then. I felt like it kept me from doing the normal things people at my age do and it did but what I failed to realize is that those normal things are, well, normal. I remember fighting Kuya Sam, our coach then at La Salle, for always breathing on our necks. It was awful! I was such a bitch to him. And the fits my mom and I had. My dad never nagged us (probably because my mom was so good at it that he never had the chance to do it) but he's the boss, the judo God for us low-lifes. He's a man of few words and all that ever comes out of his smelly-smoke-laden mouth is "Putang ina" this and that. I'm not kidding. We all shiver when he starts wearing his belt. He does this like a ritual; he wraps the belt slowly around his big tummy without looking at what he's doing, instead, his eyes are fixed on us, and when he's done, he puts his arms on his sides and watches us some more. What's more nerve racking is when he removes his belt during training. That belt will be all over the place if he catches anyone doing something wrong and believe me, it's hard not to trip or keep your balance when you know he's within the area. He'll smack you right in the middle of the mats. No one's going to stop him, no one would dare.

Enough of that. What I really wanted to share is that, I'm training again! Woohoo! I would really love to let you in all the details as to why, but I've read somewhere that it's not nice to write about those kind of stuff so a brief background would do. I'm going through something really painful and personal. There's no other way but up so I have to push myself and keep moving. I did a lot of contemplating, soul searching if I may say, and I realized that I need to be busy. I often complain about how routinely boring my life is and it's my fault, not my working hours, not Julian's early schedule at school (which I am responsible for), or the short weekends. I gave in to this routine and I have done so for the past few years. While I was still in college, I was active, always on my toes, I had money for stuff that I like, I had a social life, I was a cool girlfriend and a good friend (well, not really), I was alive. I was all that because Judo demanded a lot from me and so everything else seemed easier. When I stopped, my body went to a stasis.

If there's one good thing this grief has given me, it's the want and need to play once more. I've never wanted to be fit again, not only lose weight, until all this happened. I miss the adrenaline, the pump of energy when you enter the mats, the burns and muscle pain!

View of a part of Bilibid's Sunken Garden (I think I was at the Church's area) at 7:20 AM. Apart from the thousand poop mines, dead frogs, and tricycles, Bilibid's the best!

So today, I jogged and I hate jogging like Loki hates Thor. Back then, during our morning training, I'd walk as much as I can or find shortcuts just so I won't have to run the whole mile. In the gym, I will never touch the treadmill, I'll go for the bike or just look at everyone else lift weights or something. I didn't run much but I did it for 30 minutes. It felt liberating actually. Hopefully it won't rain in the mornings so that I can continue this then train next week in La Salle (I better get that alumni card soon).

This is DAY 2 of my 30-Day challenge. I weighed yesterday and the nurse said I'm 126 lbs, then today I'm 125 lbs! Woooooh! Who am I kidding? I probably didn't drink too much water today or I didn't pee yesterday. Anyway, my target is 112 lbs on DAY 30. I didn't do much on DAY 1 but I'm so proud to say that I managed to eat an eggplant and water spinach salad (atsarang talong at kangkong) without disgorging. In fact, I liked the taste! Aside from losing weight (quite a lot, now that I've thought about it), I aim to get back what's mine in 30 days or less. After that, I'd be single for a long time. Wish me luck!